WHEN: Saturday April 24th @ 5 PM
WHERE: TILT Waltham Parking Lot
WHY: There are such thing as dumb questions (pls refer to photo above… context clues my guy)
Am I to old to be doing this? yeah i am for sure. But here we are, it’s April, and we know what that means…. if you don’t know what that means YOU WILL NOW. It’s my birthday month. And i would love nothing more than to hang out with my favorite people. I am humbly asking (begging) that you come hang out with me to just vibe and have a good time.
I have to tell you now, I WILL be checking people into this event. And if you do not attend, you can wave goodbye to your spot you worked so hard for on the Committed Club. Will i take it personal? Yeah of course, I will consider it a personal attack to my character and assume we have beef that i know nothing about. Show up for 5 min or 5 hours. But don’t expect me to be out past 8 pm.
Anyway, congrats if you have made it this far through my dissertation. What you’re gathering now, is that you should expect to be thrown into the most subpar birthday experience you’ve ever been invited too. WORTH NOTING, I have less than a month to practice my surprised face. And believe me, you’re gonna want to give me a gosh darn OSCAR for my performance as I arrive to the surprise party I organized and set up all by myself. We are talking SERIOUS SURPRISE. Think surprise level approaching those instagram influencers with their gender reveals acting as though they had NO CLUE they are having a boy or girl or whatever when they had basically a 50/50 shot at guessing boy vs girl correctly. Anyway i’ll act surprised.
In conclusion please join me, on April 24th, for one of the most run-of-the-mill parties you will ever attend. But remember it’s a SURPRISE.
WHAT TO EXPECT
-A good time had by all
-Food and drinks
-An Oscar worthy surprise face when i walk into the party i planned by myself for myself
-Fun and games
-Maybe a pogo stick competition i dunno
WHAT NOT TO EXPECT
-The party to continue past 9 pm
– Any of the food at the party to be paleo
*In all seriousness I would love to use my birthday as an excuse for everyone to hang out outside. You literally don’t even have to like me to attend.